Letters from the Twin Trenches: Two Months In

Back story to our "Letters from the Twin Trenches" series...When we were in the BVI's we met up with some blog followers.  They were young, fun and we enjoyed hanging out with them (and the left over provisions they gave us from their charter when they flew home the next day).  Fast forward to months later when I announced our twin pregnancy on the blog...  Imagine my surprise when I got an email from Kimberly telling me that she, too, was pregnant with twins and only a week ahead of me.  "Must have been something in those painkillers!" she wrote... And so began a pretty incredible and prolific E-pal friendship chronicling our respective pregnancies and birth stories that continues to this day.  Her beautiful fraternal twin girls were born (full term) two weeks before ours and I have to tell you, sharing our (eerily similar) journeys via email has been very cathartic for me.  Solidarity.  If there is one thing you need as a parent of twins it's community.  We need to know we are not alone when it seems our sanity is teetering on the brink, which it will do from time to time when there are two newborns in the house.  Particularly if those newborns are screaming in unison.  These are some letters to her...they tell it like it is.  The good, the bad, the ugly...

May 4, 2014

So happy you have such a sweet work gig to go back to and that is FANTASTIC that your mom will provide care for the girls. I think it's so great for them to have close relationships with grandparents. Isla and my mom are so ridiculously close...a less secure momma might get jealous of their relationship, but I know it is nothing but good for the both of them. That will be fantastic for you. There is nothing like family in close proximity during these early months.  Hip hip, hooray for you. And to work from home some days as well? You will get the best of both worlds right there! My best friend has the same sort of gig (loves her job, works from home part-time) and really enjoys the work/life balance (aka: having a few days during the week where she can actually speak "adult"). It's why I love writing; during those few hours I actually get to use my brain and feel productive (though it's hardly lucrative...wah, wah).

Congrats on the stroller as well! Mine has saved my life. I get out at least once a day with all the girls and it's AWESOME. I put those cozy car seat cover thingies in the seats so the babies are completely reclined, all cozied up and usually fall fast asleep - and, well, Isla loves sitting on her "throne" and saying "hi!" to everyone we pass. It's so nice to get out. Enjoy it. I recommend using it daily for your sanity and health (weather permitting of course).

So your babies are actually legit labeled COLICKY!?!? Oh my. I have nothing to say but sorry. That sucks. Haven is enough for me - though she is a thousand times better than she was...in fact, she is turning into quite the sweet heart. She is still pretty "intense" compared to Mira's "mellow" - and her screams are still impressive in their severity - but I can put her down now and she doesn't pitch a fit. Hoping we continue on this trajectory.  I had horrible visions of toddler tantrums that would make me "that" mom who cannot control her kid - which, lets face it - we will all be at one time or another. Hopefully not regularly though (wince). Time will tell. I already bribe Isla with food and "special treats" (what else can I do when I literally do not have a hand free and I am desperate for her not to jump off the table, eat an ant, walk outside, drink my coffee...etc?). But man, to hear her adorable little voice ask, "Special treat mommy?" after it has been promised (her memory is GOOD!) and then to have her lay her sweet puppy dog eyes on me?  Well, it's kind of hard to say "no".  File that under the hashtag #thingsIsworeIwouldnotdo.  The list will continue to grow, I am sure.  Anyway....

We are doing REALLY well (aaaaand BAM!! jinx just happened....). The girls are totally falling into a eat, play, sleep pattern and daytime naps are happening with some regularity (the girls are awake no more than two hours at a time, usually just an hour twenty to be exact - more on this in a sec....). Annnnd the naps are happening (semi) successfully in their Rock n' Play Sleepers which means I am officially up off the couch in the daytime! I am now more able to do things like brush my teeth, change my clothes, go to the bathroom and perform other duties of basic hygiene that most people without newborn twins take for granted (haha!). There are still times I will "wear" one or both in the Moby wrap if they are fussing and I get desperate, and usually one nap a day happens in the stroller (love your term "junk sleep"), but for the most part - we're continuing to find a nice little groove and I have not had a breakdown or shed tears in almost two whole weeks, which - as you know, is an eternity in 'twin time'. I love the sleep schedule. I seriously do not know how people do without it. Speaking of anal-to-the-point-of-OCD organization, I got the most AMAZING baby app!! It's called "Baby Connect" and it has been a lifesaver in tracking the girls feedings, diaper changes and naps. I used to write it all down in a book but that annoyed me and wasn't ideal (not to mention it was hard to write in the dark!) - and this app is great at tracking everything so easily so that you can see patterns emerge with graphs, charts and what not. I love it. It was recommended to me by a fellow twin mom and I am passing it on to you...I think you will love it too.

As for nighttime sleep, it's still happening on me on the nursing pillow but I am embracing it and kind of love it to be honest. I am actually quite comfy now - I learned that if I just leave all the pillows behind me (throw pillows and all) I can just lay back and sink into coziness when they are finished nursing. It's painless and we're all pretty well rested these days. I don't even wake Scott up anymore.  My "bedtime routine" is hilarious.  I  guzzle two glasses of water and then gather all my nighttime gadgets:  my iPhone, glasses, gas drops, pacifiers, a burp cloth, Kindle, another glass of water and two diapers, and lay them around me in the bed so that I don't need to get up for anything.  How's that for an office?  I'll give the crib a go again in a few weeks, but for now - this works and I am telling myself that it's promoting "bonding" rather than "bad sleep habits" ;).  #thingswetellourselvestomakeitokay

Glad to hear you have found some other twin moms in your 'hood, too bad there isn't an exclusive multiple mom group. There are loads around here (or so I am told) and I have been invited to a couple from other MoMs but haven't made the jump yet...some people are shocked to know that I can actually be a little bit shy and a tad bit anti-social. Most would never guess that after meeting me, but it's my dirty little secret and why I love writing.  I think I will go check out a local chapter soon and I'm looking forward to meeting some other MoM's.  If I get as much out of the physical groupls as I do the online groups, well, it will be worth it. How much do you love reading through those multiple forums late night? Or is that just me?

The biggest news: I found my Mary Poppins! She is awesome. I am huge into "signs" and all that jazz and the day she came over to be interviewed, Isla had dug out this picture book on South Africa and brought it in the living room. I never even knew this book existed but there it sat on the coffee table. When Linda came in, we're all "tell us about yourself" (I mean, what else do you ask?) and she's like, "Well, I am from South Africa...." I was like: "STOP THE PRESS!! What?!?!" and showed her the book which was right under her nose.  We were all a flutter over that (she's a sign person too) and we launched into excited talks about Africa, life and all that good stuff.  As if that's not enough, we share the exact same birthday (happy belated by the way!!) and she has a two year old just a few days younger than Isla who she will be bringing once a week for a play date. She is super cool, intelligent, neat, and fun - and when she looked at the twins, they immediately beamed at her. Huge grins. That was all I needed. My little fish have good instincts and I trust them ;).  She'll be coming 3-4 days a week to to help me out while Scott is at work and free up some time for me so I can write, run errands and all spend some quality time with Isla. I am so excited. I think we'll actually end up being friends on top of it, and who doesn't love making new friends?

Okay - gotta run. Isla is up from her nap and full-on chatting to her baby dolls in her bed. She just said something about "put the ice cream back in the cone" (she has never had an ice cream cone, btw) and "go away!" and she just told them "I'm going to St. Maarten on the airplane today, going to pack my bags..." so I'm pretty sure those dolls have come to life and they're fixing to skip town. If only I had a video monitor.

Okay - sending love!!!

Brittany

ps. She is now singing "The Wheels on the Bus" with gusto but with each verse she is switching what goes round and round "the diaper on the bus...the mommy on the bus....the Mira on the bus....the Haven on the bus"...and so on. Man, I love this kid.

Find more "Letters from the Trenches" and other resources for twin mom's on our "TWINSANITY" page.