Letters from the Twin Trenches: 4 Months In

Back story to our "Letters from the Twin Trenches" series...When we were in the BVI's we met up with some blog followers.  They were young, fun and we enjoyed hanging out with them (and the left over provisions they gave us from their charter when they flew home the next day).  Fast forward to months later when I announced our twin pregnancy on the blog...  Imagine my surprise when I got an email from Kimberly telling me that she, too, was pregnant with twins and only a week ahead of me.  "Must have been something in those painkillers!" she wrote... And so began a pretty incredible and prolific E-pal friendship chronicling our respective pregnancies and birth stories that continues to this day.  Her beautiful fraternal twin girls were born (full term) two weeks before ours and I have to tell you, sharing our (eerily similar) journeys via email has been very cathartic for me.  Solidarity.  If there is one thing you need as a parent of twins it's community.  We need to know we are not alone when it seems our sanity is teetering on the brink, which it will do from time to time when there are two newborns in the house.  Particularly if those newborns are screaming in unison.  These are some letters to her...they tell it like it is.  The good, the bad, the ugly...

July 10, 2014

Hey there mama.

Picture this:  me, at the computer, glasses all crooked and smudged, hair akin to a rat's nest, yesterdays breast-milk stained tank top on, cold coffee (cup #3) at my side and eyes that have bags under them the size of texas.  I haven't showered in two days.  My teeth are still unbrushed and it is noon.

It's been that kind of week.

Last week I didn't write back because it was all peaches and cream over here.  Girls napping in 1.5 hour stretches, night sleeps lasting 6-8 hours, bedtime happening before 7pm.  It was too good to be true and I didn't want to jinx it or - worse - gloat about my twin triumphs if you were still struggling.  Plus, I know better than to count on the good days because we both know that there is always a twinado on the horizon, just waiting to throw our worlds into a tailspin.

Man, I get a little dramatic when I am sleep deprived, don't I? (face palm)

So, the good news is the girls turned 4 months and are both doing awesome.  Growing well.  Haven is tracking like a 5 month old (trying to stand, crawl, super strong...etc) and Mira is tracking like a normal  4 month old (rolling over, holding head up during tummy time...etc) and even jumped up from the 12th to the 20th percentile!! Whoot whoot!! So that is all good stuff.  Both girls are all smiles these days as well, which is awesome too but....BUT....ever since that fateful 4 month appointment we have entered some sort of sleep regression where I am up every 1.5 - 2 hours with one or the other.  This translates into very little sleep of the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" variety.  They are back doing the grunting thing which, as you well know, is my version of fingernails on a chalk board.  When that grunting starts good grief, look out.  The gas is back.  Not sure what I have eaten this week to make them so uncomfortable but both of them are tooting MACHINES.  I am telling you, their farts could power a turbine engine.  Haven will escalate so quickly into cries - nay - SCREAMS of discomfort, which - of course - wake the whole house.  Two nights in a row my mom or Scott have come into the room terrified they would find me sticking her with a needle or beating the crap out of her - THAT is how loudly and intensely this child screams.  The only thing that will quiet her is the boob, though I do TRY to massage the gas out with only moderate success.  Then, just as I get her quiet and sleeping again, Mira will start to stir (thank god with no where *near* the intensity of her sister - I could not handle that cry in surround sound).  It is seriously like a joke and sometimes in the middle of the night I am moved to fits of maniacal laughter at the absurdity of it all.  Real life whack-a-mole.  I read some twin mom describe the first year with twins in this regard and it is SO true.  Throw a two year old in the mix and you have a recipe for absurdity fit for a Pinter play (sorry if you don't get the reference, I was in theater). Whack. A. Mole.  Just trying to stay on top of it all is a full-time job.  #captainobvious  My mother's helper, Linda, is a god-send and I honestly don't know what I would do without her.  She is SUCH a big help.  We divide and conquer.

Okay, enough of the woe is me crap, hopefully whatever I ate that is causing this will get out of my system and I can go back to sleeping for more than 2 hours at a time again...but for now, we wait...

I'm so happy you discovered a car trick!!! Windows down does it, eh?  We have not taken them on a ride in the car for anything more than a pediatrician appointment as of late (last 45 minute trip into the city just about did me and my mom in) but when we do, I will try that. Once, on the way back from a wedding when they were screaming in unison, Scott, Isla and I discovered we could *kind of* quiet them if we all just pretended to cry too. "Can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality. Haha.  I like the window trick better!  And, again, mad props to you for getting out on the boat with those little fish.  Seriously, that is some kind of crazy (and all sorts of awesome) that they sleep better on the boat than at home.  We've never overnighted on a boat with ours, but one day.  Soon (more on this...BVI tickets are booked!).  

Scott is doing the Mac Race next week with my dad (and others), which makes me insanely jealous.  The "plan" was to drive up to the Island with all the girls but we thought a little more on that and decided against it because - honestly - it sounded like a logistical nightmare and driving 8 hours with three babies terrifies me. Sailing with them doesn't bother me in the least, but a car trip?  Fuhgetaboutit. So we are going to cruise my dad's boat later (some time in August) from Chicago to Southwest Michigan (my fave) where we will only have to drive for 45 minutes with them to get to the boat ;)  BIIIIIIIG difference and potential sanity-saver.

Okay, gotta run.  I am going to *try* for a blog post today, but I might just step outside and enjoy the sun.  We will see!  Hope things are going well in your camp.  Sending wishes for long sleep stretches and fewer crying outbursts.  Speaking of, how is Annelise doing (she was the one who was crying so much she was choking, right?)  Any news on that?  And how is you mom doing in the daytimes with them while you are working?  Does she find it crazy challenging or has she taken to it like a duck to water?

xo

Brittany

PS.  Not sure if you saw the mom of twelve (TWELVE!?!?!) who recently posted in the twin forum we are in, but her twins were her second to last kids and she said that NOTHING could have prepared her for the challenge of two at once.  Nothing. She had NINE kids before them.  #validation #twinsarenojoke

Enjoy this series? Check out my other posts: 

Notes from the (Twin) Trenches (48hours in)
More Notes from the Twin Trenches (2+ weeks in)
Breastfeeding Twins: A Delicate Balance (notes on successfully establishing breastfeeding)
Notes from the Twin Trenches: Three Weeks In
Letter from the Twin Trenches: From One M.o.M to Another (4 weeks: letter to a fellow twin mama)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: From One M.o.M to Another  (1 month in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: A Bad Week (6 weeks in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Two Months In
Notes from the Twin Trenches: "This, too, Shall Pass" (three months in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Four Months In (Out of trenches? Not quite)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Six Months In
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Eight Months In